About the Author

I guess this is the part where I tell you all about me…. but since this is a blog about online dating and I posted my OWN profile page for the world to see… this seems a tad redundant.  Nevertheless – here goes.

I’m a sassy single mom who hasn’t QUITE lost hope for finding love again, despite the steady parade of disappointment that seems to fly in the face of my stubborn optimism… I’m a foodie; I’m a Zumba addict; a mother of two amazing kiddos; I play guitar and sing; I’ve unwittingly eaten the thalmus of a cow; I’ve never seen Terminator; I have to hold hands a certain way; I sleep in long sleeves so I won’t feel my own breath on my skin; I have an unhealthy relationship with spray butter on my popcorn; I’d have my iphone surgically implanted into my arm if I could; I salsa, and have great aspirations of 2-stepping; my music tastes span from Jay-Z to Chet Baker to Red Mountain Music and just about everything between; I’m a city girl and a nerd; I hate poor grammar or bad spelling or incorrect phrasing (e.g. “I could care less”); I sometimes bring my own bag of triscuits in my purse to fine dining establishments; I love good wine, great beer, and a perfectly balanced mojito…. and my faith is a constant struggle to be a follower of Christ while sifting through this messy world.

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12 responses to “About the Author

  1. Hey Sarah – Not sure if you remember me from Gulf Breeze a couple decades ago, but I saw a link to your blog on Mary Carter Keel’s page and haven’t been able to stop reading. You don’t lie when you describe yourself as a sassy and witty – a fun read, for sure. Although I have to admit to a bit of schadenfreude with my amusement at your dating trials and tribulations. Good luck! And, keep writing!

    • Julie, of COURSE I remember you!!! It was “Mary and Julie!” Girl…how ARE you?
      I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog. And I’m happy if it’s at my expense – that’s kinda the point. 🙂
      Keep reading!

  2. Actually read the entire profile and found your blog. I’m guessing that you haven’t had much success with the boys thus far. Of course, I’m pretty sure that’s your problem, you’ve been hit up by boys IMHO.

    Then I read your profile and I’m starting to see that you’ve targeted the wrong group of guys out there. JayZ… wtf… are you serious? I wouldn’t waste the water to clear the slop of his dead carcass off my car lest I disrespect the water. Chet Baker, Red Mountain Music… maybe I’m too old. I had to ask my 10 year old daughter who these ‘people’ were, and why they were so important.

    Admittedly, I’ve always wanted to salsa, just never could get ‘the moves’ so to speak. Guess I’m too white, too slow, to big to go. 🙂

    Hope you fair better in your search. I had to google Zumba to even know what the hell you were talking about. Sounds like work. I work too much already. I don’t do work when I’m at home. Hell, I don’t do home when I’m at home. I’m pretty sure that men don’t Zumba, but I’ve been wrong before.

    (I did laugh my ass off about your snarkiness on the profile pictures. Never could understand how some people manage to post a photo of their left quad or some pix-elated picture taken in a cave with just a flash echo of light and call it a ‘profile pict’… but I digress.)

    I spent last Sunday watching TLC and the monster couponing people that buy 1800 dollars of groceries for 37 cents. I’m pretty sure I’ve found my calling in life as I explained to my friend, ‘I don’t give a crap that I’ll never use 600 boxes of kotex damnit….they’re all free with a friggen’ coupon…don’t you get it?’

    Happy Hunting… you deserve better than you’ve done thus far.

    • Is this a reply to my reply..yes. But after reading the 506th page of your travails through life, I do believe I found *THE* greatest attempt at a profile pict. If you scroll WAY WAY down you have this caption:

      This guy took a picture OF his photo in a photo album. He couldn’t even crop it in to give the illusion of effort.

      Note that this was a photo taken of a photo placed on a copy machine. Somewhere in the universe, a singularity has formed and sucked an entire galaxy into its swirling darkness…

      Last week our company implemented a poorly-conceived email signature policy. We sent out bulk notifications on how to get your information updated in an email to everyone. Our offshore guys (not the brightest bulbs on the porch, but certainly the most lovable…) would print the mail message, hand-write the changes, scan the printed changes and then email the scan back to us for the changes to be approved (as an attachment in email). When I noted that they could have just replied to the original message with the changes noted in the email I was summarily dismissed as being ‘too techie’ in my request.

      God love’m… at least they try.

    • You had to ask your daughter who “these people were and why they were so important?” um…I never said they were “so important,” just they I enjoy them. One is a jazz musician, the other- a folk group that redoes old hymns…I also don’t get your reference to Jay-Z…?
      Perhaps I read your comment too early in the morning, but it felt slightly insulting… What was your point?

      • AAAaaahhhh.. Jay Z. There are people that deserve everything they ever worked for, there are those that don’t deserve a damned thing, and then there’s life eh? I once sat next to Bob Seger during an entire Lakers game and didn’t know it. Seemed like a nice enough guy, but I was completely innocuous to the fact that everyone was gawking and pointing, and all that crap. Poor guy didn’t get to watch much of the game. Left in the third quarter. Ran into him on the way out (after every idiot hounded me about what it was like to sit next to Bob Seger….) The only thing I could say to the guy was ‘I’m glad i’m not you… not that you’re a bad guy, but if you can’t buy groceries without being hounded for your autograph, then it’s not for me. I honestly don’t know how they do it. I know they ask for it because it keeps them in the money, but it’s just incredulous what ordinary people will ask of the ‘supposedly famous’.
        Jay Z. Someday he’ll have talent. I’ll respect his business skills, but as a human being, I’d rate his music somewhere around a 1 or 2… and his politics at about a -5. I’m impressed that he’s made something of himself… but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s just another inner city punk that used his ‘talent’ for rap and the penchant for teens to want to be idiots to become rich and ‘famous’.
        Not much more needs to be said about a man that stabbed another guy in a minor altercation. Or, I could type out some of those dulcet tone lyrics about how much he thinks of the fairer sex… but that wouldn’t be gentlemanly of me nor would I ever type what I wouldn’t let my children read aloud.
        If you’re a woman that truly respects woman-kind…hood—whatever… I don’t see how you can listen to rappers that denigrate your gender, your beliefs, your entirety as a human being on this earth. I won’t say that rap sucks… but ‘coochie mama’ isn’t anything that I would be proud of. The entire rap genre is crap, disrespectful, over-hyped crap.
        The point is…. it’s your blog, and you’re entitled to any opinion you choose because it’s still a free country (at least until November 6th) and I was mostly out of line to even mention him.
        Just don’t like rappers. Guess that’s why I always respected Will Smith. Funny, talented, worth every penny as an actor and a singer, but I never heard Will Smith rap about killing, raping, murdering, etc etc etc.
        …and his wife is kinda hot. Cute daughter too…

  3. Hey, my daughter likes your photo… so don’t be too hard on me. JayZ… now, if you had mentioned Lyle Lovett. Gotta keep the love going your way right? Is was that colloquialism just bad grammar? 🙂 ..see, a smiley, it’s a joke.
    Man with a shuriken up his nose —> :*)

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